Thursday, February 25, 2016

Audiobook Review: Unravel Me by Tahereh Mafi

Title: Unravel Me (Shatter Me #2)
Author: Tahereh Mafi
Narrator: Kate Simses
Publication Date: February 5, 2013
Publisher: HarperCollins
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Review for book 1

it's almost
time for war.

Juliette has escaped to Omega Point. It is a place for people like her—people with gifts—and it is also the headquarters of the rebel resistance.

She's finally free from The Reestablishment, free from their plan to use her as a weapon, and free to love Adam. But Juliette will never be free from her lethal touch.

Or from Warner, who wants Juliette more than she ever thought possible.

In this exhilarating sequel to Shatter Me, Juliette has to make life-changing decisions between what she wants and what she thinks is right. Decisions that might involve choosing between her heart—and Adam's life. 

"It will get better," they said. "Warner is worth it," they said. "Juliette grows as a character," they said. They LIED.

I finished Shatter Me, considered for a few hours, and then got Unravel Me later that night because I really just wanted to know how the whole thing with Warner worked out. I was curious. I love a good villain and I needed to find out how he could become a love interest. Then Unravel Me finally ended and I was rooting for Juliette to hurry the hell up and die. To be honest, this was the first book that has ever made me regret keeping my reviews PG-13. There were many, many choice words I would love to say. For your sake, I'll try to keep it clean.

Unravel Me picks up shortly after book one left off, with Juliette and Adam at Omega Point trying to fit in with the other gifted people. Well, sort of. Mostly it's just Juliette and Adam making out and making huge scenes in public. But whatever. Throughout this book Juliette is attempting to discover more about her gift and what its properties are. She discovers that her super strength is pretty freaking super and attempts (poorly) to learn to control it. Mostly, though, Juliette spends the entire second book being a miserable human being.

Juliette is literally the worst heroine I've ever read about, which is saying a lot because I have absolutely hated some others. She is incredibly selfish and, despite trying to act like she gives a crap about other people, actually only cares about ALL HER FEELS and getting in the most make out sessions with as many people as possible. World needs saving? Make out. Friend is dying in another room? Better make out. When Juliette wasn't making out, she was crying, shaking, forgetting how to breathe, or counting something. She was literally useless.

Then there's Adam. Not quite as useless as Juliette, he's basically Bella from New Moon. He spends this book being pissed off or depressed, fighting or wanting to fight people, and begging Juliette not to leave him. The plot surrounding Adam in this book was one of the dumbest things I have ever seen in a book. (Guys, I am trying SO hard to keep this clean for you!) Remember back in Shatter Me when Juliette and Adam spent all night sleeping, cuddled in each others arms? Remember?? Their skin was touching all night long while they were ASLEEP? Well, just forget all of that because the author needs a convenient reason for them to break up so Juliette and Warner can be together!

Speaking of Warner, he is the least worthless of these three characters, although he still wasn't the incredible villain love interest I was promised. Yes, he has a tragic backstory. Yes, he calls Juliette "Luv" a lot. Yes, he has green eyes. That's about where it ends. I don't get it. I don't get why he's so swoon-worthy to every other person who has read this book. Despite his Big Bad status, Warner is weak and apparently "he's in love with [Juliette]" almost immediately for some reason. (WHY does everyone love Juliette??)

Kenji was honestly the only character in this book who I cared about at all. I mean, seriously, even the 10 year old brother got on my nerves. But Kenji seemed like a normal human being with normal human emotions and priorities.

I don't even have anything to really say about the plot of this book other than that it was worthless. I said it in my review of book one and I'll say it again: this is not a dystopian novel. This is crappy romance disguised as dystopia. There is zero world building and I give zero cares (I'm trying) about whether or not the world even survives. Honestly, just blow the whole thing up.

And who could forget about the writing? It is just as ridiculous in Unravel Me as it was in book one. I actually (seriously) had a headache by the time this book finally ended from rolling my eyes so much at the idiotic metaphors and descriptions. I counted at least 7 uses of the phrase "small smile" in this book and those were just the ones I paid enough attention to make note of. Of course I wouldn't leave you without a sampling of my favorite quotes from this book!

"Panic is doing backflips in my bones."

"My emotions jump out of a plane."

"He says it like it's a lit cigarette lodged in his throat."

"I am the incarnation of air."

Seriously, if it wasn't for all the ridiculous metaphors this book would be at least 100 pages shorter.

In case you hadn't guessed, I hated this book. I try not to hate many books because I understand how hard authors work to create them, but this one had not one redeeming quality. The writing was painful, I was screaming for characters to hurry up and die by the end, and the world building is non-existent. I am aware that a lot of people adore this series, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.